Self Discipline versus Habit

Self Discipline versus Habit. 

I guess you could say Self Discipline IS a Habit. Either way, you need one or the other or BOTH in full or part to exercise and eat right every day.

I was thinking about this while lying in bed this morning. I notice that when we get a new job we may struggle with getting up and getting there on time every day, but the lure of a paycheck and the novelty of eating regularly all get us into a working habit pretty quickly. The consequence of getting fired and living in a cardboard box under the Interstate isn't a pleasant thought. I didn't WANT to get up and start writing/working, but I like eating and not being homeless.

The idea of becoming homeless is so unpleasant it will even keep us in a job we hate, around people we loathe, and a boss we'd like to see get taken out by a bus at rush hour, or by eating a ham sandwich while on the toilet (apologies to Elvis and his fans). (Can you believe there's an entire website devoted to stories about poop? Sorry to digress.)

It's NOT so hard to develop the habit and discipline of working for a living if you truly enjoy eating regularly and sleeping under a roof instead of a cardboard box, but showing up to work every day can  still be a challenge! I have to "show up" at my desk, 15 feet from my bed, every day and THAT'S hard. There's no commute. There's no boss. There's no time clock, I set my own hours. But if I don't show up at some time and do the work, I don't eat...as evidenced by a diet of beans and rice last week.

Apparently the secret to developing self-discipline and habit then is finding a consequence severe enough to motivate you past the discomfort, or is it? The threat of imminent death isn't obviously a concern, as evidence of a nation of fat people and an "obesity epidemic." And, the consequences of appearance don't seem to faze many of us, otherwise there would be no "people of Walmart" website.

Money will almost always motivate people, as evidenced by The Biggest Loser's cash prize of $250,000 for losing the most weight. But most of those folks put the weight back on once they have the money.

So how do people push past the pain, the frustration, the depression, the cravings, the obstacles etc to stay on course? It HAS to be self-discipline. I like what Peter Clemens has to say about self-discipline:


"Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to:

• Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away
• Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV
• Wake early to work on yourself
• Say “no” when tempted to break your diet
• Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times"

Did you catch that? "Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life."

That sums up dieting and exercise to a "T". To lose weight you have to:

• Decide to lose it
• Commit to losing it
• Focus on losing it
• Not get distracted by reasons to change your path to losing it

It's a DECISION for the ultimate good, not the momentary pleasure. Someone recently criticized me for changing my mind about attending some classes. After I talked about signing up and looked forward to attending them all summer, I "suddenly" changed my mind. The last day to sign up for class was this week, and I didn't sign up.

My friend gave me a hard time about it, but I explained, "I knew I couldn't commit to it financially or time wise. I'd start, then stop and never finish it and that would strengthen a habit I have of quitting things." Actually deciding NOT to attend was, for me, making a GREAT decision. Others may see it as "waffling" or failure, but I see it as evidence of my developing self-esteem and self-discipline. Even though I would really have enjoyed taking the class, and probably could have used the chance to get out of my apartment and meet new people, I said, "No," FOR myself. I opted instead to take a few weekend classes, or a one-day retreat intensive thing instead as a reward for my dedication to working, eating and exercising and focusing on what is truly important to me right now—my goals. (Note to self: Other people do NOT have your best interest in mind because they DON'T have the big picture. They like to criticize because it makes them feel superior. Learn to set and enforce boundaries and take care of YOU no matter what others think or say. YOU are the one who will suffer the consequences.)

Part of becoming disciplined is the act of deciding what you truly want versus what just looks and feels good, or what other people think you "should do." For me, making this a goal and CHOOSING whether to eat healthy or not, or exercise or not based on my decisions is a tactic I haven't tried before. It's a CONSCIOUS COMMITMENT. I relied on emotions, moods and feelings in the past. This time, I've made a conscious decision to act regardless of what I feel or think in the moment in order to meet my goal(s). 

The feelings and moods will change, but I'm not relying on those to motivate me. I'm relying on what matters...my goal(s).