One of the primary reasons I want to lose weight is because fat jokes and pictures just like this really convey how our society feels about fat people and their food.
Face it. Skinny people (and fat) don't like fat people. I'm fat and I'm the first to admit that given the before and after photos of most fat people, I'd be more interested in the AFTER photo. Admit it. You would too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, people are people, it's what's inside that counts and all that. Then explain all the studies that show that's not true at all. The fact is, fat people get the short end of the stick. Sure, if you have a great personality and people get to know you they ADORE you (cough, cough), but unless you're ALL fat, you're not at the top of their list when it comes to hiking, biking, or doing stuff you just can't do because you're...well. FAT.
Harsh? Maybe. It's not politically correct to admit it, but many of us, even us fatties, secretly harbor admiration and envy for the slimmer people around us. Why? Because we've all had these things drilled into us since childhood:
- Fat people sweat.
- Fat people are lazy.
- Fat people are less intelligent.
- Fat people are mean.
- Fat people are unhappy.
- Fat people smell funny.
- Fat people get tired faster than anyone else.
- Fat people need food around.
- Fat people don't like to do things (physical) because it's hard for them.
- Fat people are out of shape.
- Fat people are secretly insecure.
- Fat people look funny in clothes—no matter how tailored they are.
- Fat people don't feel good about themselves.
- Fat people take things more personally than skinny people.
- Fat people aren't taken seriously.
I realize you're probably horrified I said all that, but for most of us, it's true, whether we will admit it or not, we have all heard those things, and believed them, or still do. There will also be those from NAAFP (National Association to Advance Acceptance Fat Acceptance) who say it's not true, or shouldn't be. Our realities are our realities. What can I say?
I have worked as a police officer, as an ambulance attendant, and in a lot of jobs where I heard others commenting about people's weight. Doctors, nurses, cops, clerks, teachers....they are all professionals, but they all make comments (negative) that reflect that underlying attitude. Don't take my word for it. It may be subtle, but it's there. No matter how GOOD you feel about your own weight, the fact is, people discriminate against fat people. They just do. You're only real question is, do you want to fight for acceptance, or relent and lose the weight?
There are people like Ragen Chastain, who blogs at "Dances With Fat." Ragen is a choreographer, dancer, blogger and a big, but healthy and confident woman. I LOVE her attitude, her passion, her dedication to the belief that you don't have to LOOK healthy to be healthy, and that we should all treat each other with respect, kindness and compassion. I agree 200%. You don't HAVE to be skinny to love yourself, and you shouldn't have to be skinny to love yourself. But some of us who love ourselves (or are starting to, or want to), include losing weight as part of that journey.
Does most of the world agree with us? No. Unfortunately not. If you have the personality and strength to love yourself at your current weight and have no desire to lose it, go for it. You can love yourself at your current weight even if you're losing weight. But as the video above shows (research) is that there is discrimination against the obese. You can stand up and fight for acceptance, or lose the weight and avoid the hassles. I don't have the energy to fight. You might. IF you do? Then talk to Ragen. This is her message.
Ragen gets a LOT of HATE MAIL, so much she's started monetizing it!! Go Ragen! I hate that she gets it. I don't understand why people have to attack others for any reason, but they do. If you don't like fat people, fine. Just keep it to yourself. Same with skinny people. Let he/she who is without sin(s) cast the first stone...so they say.
How does fat discrimination play out? Years ago I was a juror on a case in Virginia. It involved a man who was a drug addict. The prosecutor, who was about 6-foot-five and weighed in the neighborhood of 600+ pounds was an obviously angry-at-somebody kind of guy. It oozed out him. He was not happy. He had a heart of gold, but there was something simmering underneath all that— a passion for justice and frustration with the pain people caused each other, I think.
Anyway, he got up before the jury and ripped on this addict to us, telling us that the man was immoral and weak-willed and lazy and that if he WANTED to stop using drugs, he could. He just didn't want to. When we got back to the jury room all the jurors could talk about was the prosecutor's weight. If HE couldn't stop eating, and food was a drug, then this man, who was less intelligent, with fewer resources, couldn't either.
They made a decision based, not on the law, but out of pity and out of the force of the prosecutor's weight and his argument about addiction being a matter of will power!! About six months ago I saw that same prosecutor out and about town. He looked like he'd dropped about 400 of his 600 pounds. He looked GOOD. He looked competent. I was impressed. All my feelings about him CHANGED. I don't doubt for a minute I was the only one who felt that either. Knowing him before and after his loss? I KNEW he was the same person, but NOW I really saw him, saw his confidence, saw his INNER PEACE. Yep. True confessions. I know that when I lose 100 pounds people will feel the same—different, more respectful. Some will be still be jerks, but they've always been jerks. I know for a fact that SKINNY people are treated differently. You know it too.
How people treat us, how seriously they take us, what they think (whether consciously or not) about us IS related in part to our weight. Okay, those who work with a lot of obese people may think differently, but the majority of American society puts a HUGE value on looks, weight first. You are TOTALLY free to be the size, ANY size you want to be. But be aware, your choices have consequences, pro and con.
I think about that a lot. And it's another reason why I'm motivated to lose weight. People don't care WHY you're fat, or what your excuses are. They'll still be your friends, but they'll always be thinking, "I wish she would lose a few pounds, for her health." I've decided to lose weight because I don't need or want the stress of fighting people over what THEY should think about me. I just don't.
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