WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS?!!

I know. I know. I SAY I'm losing the weight, but no photos. I hear this a LOT. The thing is, I've failed so much in the past and gained the weight back that I'm afraid to post the photos online. That, and there are SOOOOO many trolls out there who like to really take before photos and use them to trash a person that I decided NOT to post full body photos until I have my after photos to go with them.  That said, you CAN see some weight loss in my face:

Here's a "before" photo of me (in red shirt) at 243 pounds in 2009, pretty much the same weight over the past 3-4 years. I lose then gain:

The "After" photo, me today, March 15, 2013:

207

I'm holding at 209 pounds! Yeah! Another 10 pounds to go to break the 200 mark—my nemesis. Every time I get close to 200 I freak and eat. Like, I just finished having a Subway sandwich, with chips, a soda and a Hershey bar. I had less than 600 calories yesterday and that's all I've had today. Why? I'm on a new medication for fibromyalgia that kills any appetite. I have to force myself to eat, and am not at all interested in cooking because the smell makes me nauseaous. So I went to the grocery store to get cat food for the cats, and Subway is next door....so...

Still not working out. The medication helps with energy, but I'm also very euphoric (nice word for "smashed" when I take it. I worry. But mostly I'm being cautious and lazy.

I need to stop overthinking and focus on baby steps.

Down to 207

207!! Wow! The pounds are falling off!

Okay. I admit I'm getting a little nervous. I didn't think losing weight would be this easy. 

My secret to fast weight loss? I GAVE UP SODAS. I noticed a drop in my temper IMMEDIATELY when I stopped the soda. Apparently there are mean drunks, and mean sugar addicts too. Alcohol and sugar affect the body in the same way metabolically and chemically so it makes sense. I feel less tense and wound up when I am not drinking 3-6 sodas a day...about 1,000 to 3,000 calories A DAY. No wonder I'm losing!

Yes. It's that easy. I also quit eating bread, dairy (cheese, milk), and potatoes. I ate a LOT of potatoes. They were cheap and there were a thousand ways to fix them...and I did. I didn't realize how many calories there are in ketchup, and then when I slathered them with butter...well, not good. I had crackers and toast with EVERYTHING...but have given that up too.

My diet now consists of portion controlled sizes, a gallon or more of water a day (HUGE HELP), tea instead of coffee with SIX spoons of sugar and a 1/3 cup of cream. Yeah...I know. Insane. I eat a ton of protein, mostly fish (talipia, shrimp, clams, tuna) and 5 servings of fruit and veggies a day. I juice too—both greens and fruit! And I have a BIG bowl of popcorn every night too. LOTS of fiber in my diet!

I'm STARTING to exercise more, but it's hard. When I do exercise I pay for it the next three days with my fibromyalgia flareups.  

I've tried Splenda, blended Splenda and all the alternative sweetners, but they don't do it for me. So I'm back to sugar. I use a tablespoon of organic brown sugar in my morning oatmeal, and when I have grapefruit chunks that are too bitter. But I'm weaning off of that. The goal is NOT to deny yourself everything good, but to limit what you take in. If having 2-5 teaspoons of sugar a day helps me eat healthy, then I'll have them.

Slow and steady!!